How to not be so F***ed Up

A friend called me crying. Between sobs she said “I’m so fucked up!” I didn’t laugh at the time. I just tried to normalize her feelings of woundedness, carrying old baggage and having a rough day. Later we laughed about it. It has become a funny line that my group of girls uses to explain that particular feeling – that awareness of our issues, knowing our buttons are being pushed, reliving a past hurt, seeing the shadow rear its crazy head.

It’s Ok, even humorous.

It’s truth.

It’s human reality.

And here are some things to do to not be so Effed up:


accept your feelings

Allow them as much space as they need, sit with them, let them move through you. They can’t kill you – even when you want them to. Trying to shove them down, deny their existence or push forward while feeling awful leads to effed up reactions to others and the world. Stop. Feel. Accept the experience you’re having.

question your thoughts

Byron Katie has The Work for this. Get the App.
Or notice when you feel effed up. You just had a thought.
Ask – What was it?
Then – Is that what you want to keep thinking, creating and feeling?
Then grab onto your homing thought – a positive thought  that feels true for you. Borrow mine. It’s  “Everything is falling perfectly into place“. I also like “What’s best for me is best for the world.” Or how about, “I am safe in this moment and all is well.”

find your peeps

Community is missing in many of our lives in this modern world. I’m talking about real live community, not an online tribe or ecourse, as fabulous as they may be (I belong to those and LOVE them)… I mean at least one person who is there to pick you up when you drop the car off at the mechanic’s, whose house you can go to when you need to leave your husband, who comes to the hospital immediately when your loved one is suddenly on his deathbed, you’re in labor 3 weeks early or you need a biopsy (true stories)… I mean people who uplift you when you see them, support your personal growth and REALLY know you. Start with one. Call them up. Plan a lunch, start a weekly coffee clutch, or make it a Moon Circle and meet monthly. More will come. Our souls want community.

love the paradox

We are Divine and we are human.
We have problems and we are ok.
We can do lots of spiritual work and psychological issues still arise (and vice versa).
Our challenges are our opportunities.
We are effed up and we are perfect…
but mostly
we are perfect
and all is well.
This pic I took last week at the beach reminds me - All is well.
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