A friend asked me to write a post about forgiveness. I’m not sure she’s going to like this one though. I quietly hold strong beliefs on forgiveness. They may not be popular. As we all do, I know people who have been harmed, even assaulted, sexually abused and traumatized. Certainly justice should be done. Laws and rules to keep us safe must draw lines between what is acceptable and not. Some lost souls need treatment, medication or incarceration to not continue hurting others.
But in these big things and in the small things in our relationships, I find that our own judging and labeling what or who is right and wrong impedes our own growth and dampens our happiness. We are all on a path of evolution and learning (over the course of this and perhaps many lifetimes), at different stages, with varying experiences, obstacles and perspectives.
My job is to look at myself, to see my shadows and shortcomings (even if they are being shown by the mirror of another), to raise my capacity to Love, and keep clear my channels for Divine Guidance in how I may serve the world. Demonizing or “other-izing” anyone else doesn’t help, and holding a grudge is toxic. The only option then, is forgiveness.
If we each do this individually, we will grow collectively… as a society, as a nation, then as a race, a world and a Universe. As John Lennon said, Imagine.
Anyway, here’s what I have to say on the topic:
Forgiveness can be seeing that when another is not acting with love, they are acting from fear can be aided by admitting our own fallibility and capacity for transgression can be to know that another’s sickness or confusion of head, heart or Soul was never personal against us can be realizing that we had expectations of someone, which we placed without regard for who they truly are and their human-ness is to care for ourselves, to heal our wounds, to move forward freely, which may mean to leave behind people and places or create boundaries in relationships, to seek justice where appropriate, and to help others… but not to hold the poison of resentment in our being is, mostly, surrendering our illusion that we had the authority to be the judge of another person to begin with