Secret Wedding Ingredients

“There wasn’t a single guest who didn’t comment on how much they loved our ceremony, and how much they loved you!” wrote the groom in a wedding that I officiated recently.

I am flattered and often floored by the comments I receive after a wedding, by the guests who grab my arm on my way out, look into my eyes and say, “That was the best ceremony I have ever been to.” They are old and young, men and women, all colors and creeds, and gloriously different individuals.

I feel like a chef sometimes, walking into the dining room and having the customers cheer and compliment my creation. It’s like that; yet they themselves are a key ingredient.

The recipe is not a secret. It’s in plain sight, if subtle and unusual.

I’d like to share the recipe here. You can mix it up for your own wedding or gathering of any kind, really.

It’s one part people, one part presence.

I begin with a silent moment. With a breath together. Then an awareness of our feet on the ground and the feeling within at that moment. I remind them that our presence is a gift we are bringing to the couple about to commit a radical act of faith and love.

I go there myself. I feel the subtle energy in my body. I stop thinking for a few seconds. I trust that the work I have done on the ceremony is good enough and that I am guided always by the Divine.

The result is a magical dome of Love that drops over the event and leaves a glow with all who partake in the goodness. Not everyone does. The ones who do are those who garb my arm. At some weddings I feel the whole “audience” is there, in the present moment and experiencing the Extra-Ordinary.

Sometimes it is so unfamiliar to people that they don’t want to try it. Like escargot or caviar.┬áBut if there are enough people with me in the moment – a critical mass perhaps – we are all carried away. We are all creating this delicious, joyous feast for our hearts.

We also engage the guests at some point during the ceremony – honoring their importance in the alchemy and making sure they haven’t slipped back into the ordinary just yet.

We all spend enough time there, in the everyday mind-made stress and concern. A ceremony can be a few minutes somewhere else. Somewhere perfect, where all is well.

I think that’s what they have tasted, those who feel the need to talk to me after the ceremony.

They have been to the Now. They ate it up. They loved it. They want more.


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