Musings

It’s OK to Fall Apart

I noticed that I’m especially tender right now. I thought you might be feeling this way as well. A little worn. A little raw. Like the nerve is almost exposed, right beneath the surface.

Well, of course! There is only so much continuous stress that we can undergo without it sloughing off a few layers. The adrenal system gets tired of being in emergency mode. We start to feel like a victim after a prolonged challenge or concern doesn’t let up. We grow weary. There is a lot of suffering and grieving happening in the world (as there always is), combined with anger and strife.

So, I can’t hold back tears at every sweet or sad movie, commercial, Moth story or Dodo video. The site of people hugging or reuniting is especially poignant right now – like the first 2 minutes of Love Actually.

We’re being positive. We are focusing on the good. We are mustering up all of the holiday spirit we can; making gifts for loved ones and planning little surprises for our neighbors and each other. These things help me to feel grateful for all that I have – and sometimes there are tears of gratitude.

I guess I just wanted to say that it’s ok to fall apart. You’ll be put back together. Like the Six Million Dollar Man, better, stronger, faster.

It’s ok to feel your feelings all the way through. Give them as much room as they want. Cry to the end of your tears. Feel the fear, anxiety or anger in your body and allow it space. Like someone said,”If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Don’t stop, get stuck or hold it inside.

Allow it to change you. Let your heart break open. Let this whole crazy year dismantle your defenses so you can be rebuilt into a more loving, more true, more compassionate individual. This is how we learn and grow. Challenges can refine us, redirect us or wake us up to purpose, if we let them.

I ended the Holiday Handbook for 2020 with a prayer for the end of this year. I’ll share it here and wish you Goodness at year’s end and into 2021.

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