My usual advice to my little daughter is “Remain calm.”
She has always had a penchant for a scene, a flair for the dramatic, a tendency to flip out – if the seam of her sock is crooked, something she made gets broken or she can’t grasp a skill or talent in the first 12 seconds.
“Remain calm,” I remind her, which possibly makes her flip out more.
I decided that maybe I need to expand my advice to 3 words. But which 3? I’ve started a list. I’ll keep it updated and maybe give it to her one day.
If I die unexpectedly, please make sure she gets this. I’m one of those that feels like they’ll live to a ripe old age, into the 100s, but I could be wrong, right?
My advice, in no particular order is this:
Accept yourself unconditionally.
With all of your quirks, emotions, uniqueness and ideas – love completely the You you have been given in this lifetime. Only then can you mine her talents and desires to create the beautiful life you were meant to live and the gifts you have for the world.
Take things lightly.
It seems very serious and important, all of the tasks ahead, but a life lived in the mind can get heavy and hard to bear. Laugh, feel the heart and the body and the light energy housed there, often.
Question your thoughts.
Lots of bullshit runs through the mind. Be skeptical. It’s not all true, and it may be causing you suffering.
Allow all feelings.
Allow them to come and allow them to go. They are like the weather.
Eat real food.
“If God didn’t make it, I don’t eat it,” Jack LaLanne said. Be vegan or lacto-ovo vegetarian or caveman or fruititarian. It doesn’t matter that much. Just believe in whichever you choose and eat whole foods mostly – the way things grow or live on the earth in their natural state.
Sit in silence.
There is wisdom within that can be heard in quiet moments. It sounds like a whisper or feels like a slight tingle at first. Practice tuning in to it and tuning out the loudness of everyone’s opinions, including your own, and all of the distractions of the world. Then it will become louder, brighter, more vibrant and vibrational. Then it can guide you on your way.
Let things evolve.
Things change. Your desires, your jobs, relationships, the body’s needs, other people – these and more will change. Let them. Roll with it.
Marry a nerd.
A hot nerd, like your dad. They’re smart and witty and have good jobs. They’re responsible and devoted to family. One will challenge you in intelligence and understanding, which you’ll need to grow.
Powder over pencil.
Just something I always tell my friends when they marvel at how I still have eye makeup on at 10pm. Powder over pencil or cream helps it stay. Or don’t wear makeup. Your choice. I came of age in the 80s when we were lighting our Maybelline eyebrow pencils on fire to make them work like gel eyeliner, and wearing the tightest jeans possible and slave bracelets and huge hair. If you’re lucky, the natural look will take hold for you girls, thanks to Alicia Keys.
Make yourself happy.
It’s not someone else’s job. It can’t be. It’s an inside job. Love yourself, take care of yourself and make yourself happy. Then present that wholly loved, happy person to the world.
Also, I love you.