Inspired by the Giant Squid

Posted on 05/20/2013

One night last week, with the husband out of town and the kid in bed, I started to watch the Ted Channel on the Roku. Ted talk after Ted talk… about social issues, the environment and Mysteries, like The Giant Squid! 

kraken

Here’s what that inspired:

 

Go down there in the deep.
See what lurks, what lives.
Don’t be afraid
and stay on the sparkly surface
where light bounces happily on the wave tips.
Bring a light and go see
other creatures.
We’ve only explored 5% of the oceans’ depths.
Surely we are as deep.
 
What’s down there…
resentments,
the need to control,
fears
of being left or unwanted?
i would say No.
i would think positive thoughts.
I know better.
I know there is self doubt, shame, striving to be loved.
 
And that they all have a right
to their Magnificent Existence…
the fears,
the desires that bob and dive,
the 2-story tall giant squid and the playful porpoise
and everyone in between.
 
 

 

What’s your Giant Squid?

 

 

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My Inappropriate Address to a Couple at Their Wedding

Posted on 05/06/2013

When I officiate a wedding I usually start with a moment of silence. I guide everyone to become present in the moment, to offer their Presence as a gift to the couple. We acknowledge those who are not able to be there, those who have passed on, etc.

Next I like to address the couple, with a reading or quote and a bit of my own perspective on love and relationships. It’s a lite version, appropriate, sweet… hopefully hopeful and uplifting.

If I could have an Ally McBeal moment (in case you’re too young, that show would feature way-out scenes in the midst of the action showing Ally’s real thoughts or what she really wanted to say and then snap back to the ordinary conversation)… Here’s what I would say:

Look into the eyes of your beloved. Think of all that you love about them.
 
Many of those things are in your mind, a figment of your imagination and expectations.
This person will disappoint you by not acting according to those expectations and just being themselves. It’s not personal against you. They are just being perfectly who they are. You’ll have to forgive yourself for having illusions of what was going to happen and how your spouse was going to behave. Forgive yourself especially for any thoughts that he or she would change, with your help.
 
You can thank your beloved at that point for guiding you back to the real purpose of the relationship – for you to discover the infinite well of Love within you. When he or she is unable or unwilling to give love or comfort, when he is exhausted and has only snide comments or silence for you, when she is in self doubt and coming at you with neediness disguised as accusations, you will be nudged toward the realization that your partner is not the source of love in your life. They are not there to give you love. When they have nothing emotionally to give, you will have the opportunity to be the one to bring love to the situation, to give love to yourself and to be loving to your partner. Then you will experience Love… and the Truth that, like Dorothy found, you had it all along.
 
You might get divorced. You can love someone and not want to be married to them. Your growth in this relationship may come to an end. One of you might get lost and go down a road the other chooses not to travel on. Any of that is Ok. It’s not a failure. It will not be for naught if someone learns something from it. That is success.
 
You may have been initially attracted to each other due to unconscious beliefs about yourself or unresolved issues with your parents. If so, you’ll be horrified in a few years when you realize how much your partner acts like your mother or father. Don’t fret. Part of you was hoping to recreate that dynamic and this time “win” the person’s love or attention. Your task will be to let go of your need for that replay. And to realize, again, that you are Love.
 
If you believe (even unknowingly) that people leave you, or that you deserve to be mistreated or abused, your partner will play his or her part in fulfilling that prophecy for you – unless you bring those dark thoughts into the light where they can dissolve… into Love.
 
You will have chances to practice being with annoyance, anger, sadness, and worry. You can learn acceptance, surrender, and how to remember your sense of humor. You can experience the heights of joy and passion if you are vulnerable enough to go to the depths of heartache.
 
And so I ask you both, are you ready to enter into this contract…
freely and without reservation?
 
 
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Apply Love

Posted on 04/22/2013

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My 3 yr. old daughter goes to a preschool that is part of a Methodist church. One day she came home with a little poodle toy that she “won” for knowing the bible verse of the day. I asked her, “What was the bible verse?”

She said very slowly, “Put… on… love.”

Oh. Put on love. Hmm, I don’t remember that one… but I like it!

What if we woke up in the morning and put on Love… like cologne, or socks.

Imagine if you broke your arm, and put Love on it.

Or applied Love to all of your perceived problems.

It reminds me of how I was in my first marriage before discovering Al-Anon. I thought that my husband’s drinking was OUR problem. I told him what to do. I tried to control him, alcoholism, everything. Al-Anon helped me apply Love to the situation… and to the proper place. You can’t heal the wound by putting the salve on the wrong spot, right? You don’t want to operate on the wrong patient! I applied Love to myself first. I practiced taking care of myself and took responsibility for my own safety and happiness. That’s Love. That changed everything in my experience. And then I was capable of being loving toward him too.

I did leave eventually… with Love, for him and myself. So then I was going through a separation and divorce. Applying Love equalled napping, feeding myself well, allowing feelings to have their way as they moved through me, letting friends help me.

And Love showed up, as a reflection of my Love for myself I believe (enter husband #2).

I am working right now on a Journey for women where we apply Love to the perceived problem of our weight, size and body. I am practicing it with a wise friend. We both felt unhappy about our weight creeping up, and not happy with being unhappy about it. We wanted any changes to be made within Love and Compassion for ourselves. It has unleashed Magic.

Do you see anywhere you could apply Love in your life? Do you know precisely where to rub it in?

Here are some directions I found on the bottle:

 

 

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